One of the Best Video Game Charicters

HEY EVERY !! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY 'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]]
SPAMT
SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!!
WOAH!! IF IT ISN"T A...
LIGHT nER! HEY-HE Y HEY!!!
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE [[All Alone On A Late Night?]]
ALL YOUR FRIENDS, [[Abandoned you for the slime]] YOU ARE?
SALES, GONE DOWN THE [[Drain]] [[Drain]]??
LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN???
WELL HAVE I GOT A [[Specil Deal]] FOR LONELY [[Hearts]] LIKE YOU!!
IF YOU'VE [[Lost Control Of Your Life]]
THEN YOU JUST GOTTA GRAB IT BY THE [[Silly Strings]]
WHY BE THE [[Little Sponge]] WHO HATES ITS [[$4.99]] LIFE
WHEN YOU CAN BE A
[[BIG SHOT!!!]]
[[BIG SHOT!!!!]]
[[BIG SHOT!!!!!]]
THAT'S RIGHT!! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A [[BIG SHOT]]!!
AND I HAVE JUST.
THE THING.
YOU NEED.
THAT'S
[[Hyperlink Blocked]].
YOU WANT IT.
YOU WANT [[Hyperlink Blocked]], DON'T YOU.
WELL HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!!
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOW ME.
YOUR [[HeartShapedObject]].
YOU'RE LIGHT neR< AREN'T YOU?
YOU'VE GOT THE [[LIGHT.]]
WHY DON'T YOU
[[Show it off?]]
HAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAH!!

KRIS!!! YOU [Little Sponge]! I KNEW YOU'D COME HERE [[On A Saturday Night]]!
AFTER ALL, YOU WANNA BE A [Big Shot]! EAHAHAHAHAA!!
BUT HOW? HOW CAN YOU BE?
LISTEN. IN THE [Deep Abyss] OF QUEEN'S [Mansion]
[[A Great Deal]] IS WAITING For [[A LimiTed Time Only!]] A HEAVEN-PIERCING [[Workout-Ready Body]]
[[Designed BY The Classics You've Come To Expect! (C)1997]]
KRIS THAT [Little Nipper] IS OUR [One-way Ticket] TO MAKE YOU [Big]. MAKE ME [Big].
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT WE WILL BE TAKING [ A Ride around Town on Our Specil Cungadero]
VACATIONING IN [Burning acid] WHILE YOU SOAK IN THE [Hyperlink Blocked].
BUT KRIS DON'T [Breathe] YET!! THE WAY IS LOCKED BY [High Quality Encryption]!!!
YOU WILL NEVER GET INSIDE.
WAIT KRIS LOOK!! HEAR THOSE [Balloons]??? YOU ARE [1000th Customer]!!.
AS A [Commemorative Ring] I WILL LET YOU BUY [KeyGen] FROM ME AT [The Low Low Price Of]
WHAT DO YOU THINK!?!? IT'S SUCH A STEAL, I'M [$!X$]ING MYSELF!!!
TAKE THIS DEAL AND YOU WILL [[Die]]!! IT'S THAT GOOD!!!
[BUY] THE KEYGEN FROM ME, UNLOCK THE BASEMENT, AND GET THAT EmptyDisk!!!

KRIS!!! YOU DID IT!! YOU [[Funky]] LITTLE [[Worm]]! YOU BROUGHT ME THE DISK!!
HOCHI MAMA!!!! I CAN FEEL THAT [Smooth Taste] ALREADY!!
... NOW KRIS. DON'T BE GREEDY. HAND OVER. THE DISK.
THEN WE WILL TRANSFER.
MY [[Hyperlink Blocked]].
THEN. KRIS. AFTER. THIS IS VERY, VERY IMPORTANT.
GO BACK. AND PUT. THE DISK. BACK. WHERE YOU GOT IT.
DO THAT... AND YOU HAVE MY [Specil Guaranttee] I WILL [[Pass My Savings Onto You!]
] EVERY [Big], EVERY [Shot], EVERY [Hyperlink Blocked], ALL YOURS, KRIS.
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? BIG SHOT...
[[Warning! If you consent to the terms and agreements,]] [[OUR STORE is PERMANENTLY Closing Down!!]]

HOLY [[Cungadero]] DO I FEEL GOOD ...
HERE I AM!! KRIS!!
BIG
BIG,
[[BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER]]
HA HA HA ... THIS POWER IS
FREEDOM.
I WON'T HAVE TO BE | JUST A PUPPET | ANY MORE!!!!
...
OR... so... I... thought.
WHAT ARE THESE STRINGS!? | WHY AM I NOT [BIG] ENOUGH!? | It's still DARK... SO DARK!
KRIS. KRIS. | KRIS. | KRIS.
THAT'S RIGHT. | YOU. | I NEED YOU.
TO BE BIG. | WITH ME.
VERY VERY BIG
SO BIG WE'LL STAND UP TALL AND SEE PAST THE DARK
STAND UP WITH OUR HEADS IN THE CLOUDS AND LOOK INTO
H E A V E N
I | JUST NEED | THAT LITTLE,
[[SOUL]] | Y O U HAVE
KRIS!!! YOU HAVE [Friends]!?
WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM ABOUT MY [3 for One Specil]!
TODAY, THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN TAKE A LITTLE [Ride Around Town]...
[Attention Customers! Clean up on Aisle 3!]
SOMEONE LEFT [There] SOULS, [Lyeing Around......]
Kris!?!? WAS THAT A [BIG SHOT] JUST NOW!?
WOW!!! | I'M SO [Proud] OF YOU, I COULD [Killed] YOU!
[Heaven], are you WATCHING?
IT'S TIME TO MAKE A VERY [Specil] DEAL...